St. Patrick's Day Morning

 By Xai

This morning I got out of bed and started getting dressed. 

Then Eli got up (I forgot how Eli and I got in a fight) well anyways Eli started chasing me.

 (sorry that I keep on forgetting but I forgot how Eli and I became friends again) so I was getting dressed when Eli started chasing me but anyways I was walking to my room when Mom asked" Do you want to help me update our job charts " I said "No I'm not wearing any green on.

 Mom forgot it was St. Patrick's Day so she jumped out of the chair super fast and ran into her room to change into green before Dad could pinch her.

 then Penelope woke and rushed into the living room (I think she thought that we were watching TV .such a cutie). At breakfast time Eli and I made green pancakes and boy were they good.

 

  

Mouses in Houses

 Eli and Liesl were in Dad's room this morning and Eli said, "Mouses like our house because we're rich."

Liesl agreed, "Yes!  And we have lots of cheese!"

COVID, Guinea Fowl and Power Outages

 "This it water, not COVID."  Gulp. Gulp. Gasp.

"COVID water is real." Nodding assertively.

"If you drink it, then you'll have COVID!" (All smiles.)

"Bye, Mom!"

*****

Elijah told me that his stomach was hurting last night.

"Maybe it's because you feel bad about something you did and need to repent?" I gently suggested. "Why don't you say a prayer?"

"Dear Heavenly Father,

]I'm sorry that I was mean to the guinea fowl today.

I'm sorry that I shouted at them.

I'm sorry that I threw rocks at them.

I'm sorry that I chased them.

I'll try never to do that again."

No wonder the guinea fowl were unhappy today.  The things you learn when you listen to your kid's prayers.

******

The power went off Sunday night and was still off when we went to sleep.

It came back on at 2:33 am.  Do you know how we knew that?

Xai came rushing around the house to declare the good news to everyone!

He'll be a great missionary.  He'll just need to learn about the timing of his approach.

"Surprisingly" hard to swallow popcorn!

 Eli just told me that a movie made him laugh so hard, he couldn't swallow his popcorn.  So cute!

Yesterday, he was also telling me about his pre-school experience.  He apparently couldn't get the colored bubbles to yield the colors he wanted.  At one point he said, "Surprisingly...."  Really?  "Surprisingly"??  He's six.  It was adorable!!

All spoken without his two front teeth, which make it all the sweeter :D.

The Walk, The Game, The Yell, and Taupe

 Today Liesl, Penelope and I walked over to Oma's and Opa's (I love that they are close enough to do that).  We braved the onslaught of the most current ladybug invasion--apparently they come here to die by the thousands.  I foolishly took our two seater stroller and put Liesl in the front.  Boy, was the hill up to my parent's a doozy!

*********

I also "played" Ticket to Ride with Liesl today.  "Played" in the loosest sense of the word.  We were there at the table and all the pieces for Ticket to Ride were out. However, I am quite sure they have never been used the way we used them.   When I first got there, Liesl had arranged the numerous colored train cards by color.  And decided which she was using.  And which I was using.  

I could tell from the beginning this was not going to be our ordinary game.

I asked her from the outset, "Do you want to play your way or the way the 'map' tells us to play?"  ("Map" is her word for "instructions.")

"The map," came the first, second, third, fourth and fifth response. 

However, by the time I had been sternly corrected for playing the wrong way that many times and more and I had asked my clarifying question again and again, the sixth answer was much more of a relief."

"My way," Liesl finally decided.  Whew.

Her way apparently meant playing "the most beautiful ones."  And collecting as many train color cards as she could and arranging them into pretty piles.  And not playing a single train.

I happily played route after route. However, seeing that the train color cards were not going to be replaced due to my hoarding little four year old playing buddy, I wisely asked, "When is the game over?"

After a thoughtful pause.  A very short thoughtful pause. "When I win."

Easy.

"You win!" I cheered.

With big blue eyes wide with wonder and delight, Liesl replied, "I did???"

Pause.

"How?"

Shoot.

"Because yours is the most beautiful."

Sweet.

**********

It was much less pleasant later.

Penelope was overtired and wouldn't settle down.

Liesl and Eli were both raging over me not being in there to snuggle with them (after being in there for 30 minutes before that reading books).

And Maia and Piper had agreed to play Splendor with me.

Well, I was already on at least two children's least favorite list no matter what I did. 

When that happens, I get angry, which my therapist said is a manifestation of sorrow and fear.  Looking back, I can see that I was super sorry that I couldn't meet the needs of all of my children.  Physically impossible.  So I was sad.  And I yelled.  Not the best choice.

I played the game.  Quinn put Penelope to sleep, and Liesl and Eli went to sleep with varying degrees of discontent. (I promised Eli I would snuggle more in the morning.)  Sigh.  Working on reconditioning my responses.

***********

I did play a really quick, fun game of Scattergories with Quinn, Lily and Drew after that, in which we learned that "taupe" can be any one of a number of different colors.  We've decided to put down "taupe" as our eye color on our driver's licenses.  When the police officers refute it, we can have them Google "taupe" and be enlightened as we were tonight as to the very generic meaning of that color word.

It felt good to laugh.

Tova and Zoe

Fun with Penelope outside

A quick visit to the Columbus Zoo

What you don't see is Quinn standing behind Penelope, holding her on :D

Oozing Love as a Sleep Cure?

 Yup. There the "siren" went again.

After writing and posting something on my Lazarus blog this morning about Penelope's recent sleep miracle, my Penelope started wailing. 5:23 am. She did give me from 10:30-3:00...ish. But I fell asleep while snuggling between Elijah and Liesl in Lily's bed during Quinn's nighttime reading so I got a nap from 9 to 10:30 :D. Sleep. It's over-rated.

Liesl and Eli are doing better at sleeping at night and not having accidents. I kind of had what I think is an epiphany about their sleep habits that might be worth recording.

A few weeks ago...or maybe a month...I was lying awake in-between times Penelope woke me up during the night. As I lay there, I heard her do a sad little sob. It wasn't the typical “I need!” outburst. It felt like a deep emotional sorrow uncharacteristic of one so little. It puzzled me and I started pondering on what would make a tiny soul, “so fresh from God” as Dickens put it, mourn with such gravity.

I felt like the Spirit whispered an impression to me of the many sleepless nights when I was basically going crazy with her. While she was never in any physical danger—or really any kind of danger—I was extemely off balance sometimes and even as I held her in my arms oh so gently, my soul raged. My friend told me once that if you sleep deprive animals that they become similar to rabid animals and I felt it during some of those months. Fortunately I had the humanity to recognize it and be moderate in how I handled my children for the most part, but they could tell that my sanity within was kind of wacky. As could I.

During one of those times, I remember holding Penelope on top of my tummy. It was about 2 am and she was happily awake, gabbing and chatting in her baby language.

And I was done. I remember her looking at me and smiling. Me glaring back at her with so much negative emotion and her cocking her head and looking puzzled at me. And smiling again.

I didn't think much of it until that night when I heard her sob.

What if all those extreme negative emotions leaked out and she felt them? How could she not! But what if she internalized them at a “conditioned” level?

It make me reflect on those years before...I've never been a very internally calm parent at night. I'm much more a morning person. I'm actually much more a “sleep through the night” kind of person, come to think of it, lol. However, my last few children, I've noticed, are particularly sensitive. In fact, it seems that they are either coming more and more sensitive or I am just noticing it more or more...but that is neither here nor there. :D

So what if Penelope has “night time” associated with all those negative vibes that I was experiencing? What if that was part of her struggle to feel peace while she slept? And what if that is also why Elijah and Liesl struggle to a degree sleeping alone?

My dear sister Jackie (technically “in-law” but in my heart “sister”) once quoted Gordon B. Hinckley as saying that every parent does things to their children that their children should get therapy for later. God knows that there are no perfect parents on this earth and somehow it is still part of His perfect plan to send children down to them. So, having internalized this truth, I am a little over beating myself up over it. I need to repent, change and try to fix what I can and know that God—who loves these little ones more than I can comprehend—has sent His Son to atone and compensate for and heal all those wrongs. I can't change the past and beating myself up for it changes nothing for the better and just limits my ability to change and do what I can do.

So with this truth in mind, I thought, “I wonder if I exude love and all those warm, fuzzy feeling emotions to Penelope when she wakes up, if that will help? And maybe doing the same with my other two little ones when they go to sleep at night will help heal them as well?”

One of the million beautiful things about God is that sometimes He lets us be a part of the healing process :D. Over the past month I have seen her night time outbursts lessen and felt her drift off to sleep peacefully as I ooze as much love and adoration into my emotions as I can as I snuggle with her. Super cool.

Disappointment

 Piper: Tonight, while I was listening to Dad, Eli came over to me and said "Could you help me please?"  And commenced to pull me to the couch. Immediately, Eli dubbed himself "master." 

"Draw a tent. Not there, there. Write fire." 

He then asked me for ideas for his "camp list." After the following suggestions, swimming, roasting marshmallows, and eating, he insisted, 

"Tell me stuff to do, not stuff to eat."  

"Okay, swimming, tackling, and roasting marshmallows."

"Piper, I am disappointment at you. I am not mad. I am disappointment."

Spelling Confusion

 Maia remembered that she needed to get another bra when we were in town.  So, in the car, she called out, "So, Mom!  When am I going to get a B-R-A?"

Eli jumped in. "And that spells chocolate."

Xai quickly corrected him, saying, "No it doesn't!  Mom, what does B-R-A spell?"

Mommy said, "Bra."

Xai replied, "You're going to eat a bra?"

Ummmm...nope!

Funnies, Play "Louis Pasteur" and Work

 Xai came up to Piper this morning and said, out of the blue, "Did you know that you can't grow apri-cados over here?? You have to grow them where there's always sunshine."

Later..."I wish we lived in Florida."

*****

Yesterday Liesl told me, “I missed my dream so I had to go to sleep again.” I love the little phrases and words she uses! I may have already recorded how she uses the word, “Beezer” for “zipper.” She also refers to plays as “the Act”: “are we going to the Act today, mommy?” or “I need to get my special dress on for the Act!” It was adorable to see how much she and Eli picked up on the choir and acting. After the cut-off of one of our songs, we heard someone still singing in the audience, perfectly on pitch and with all their might...it was Liesl. So cute!! She and Eli know the words to many lines and most of the songs for both groups and loved being a part of it. I think it might be also in part because they get to watch movies almost all the time when I am doing my groups, but it is apparent that they also like feeling a part of it.

By the way, the play “Louis Pasteur” was last week...a musical comedy/encyclopedic wealth of information, but also very fun! I put in a lot of staging, nuances, and changed a few words to make it more humorous and enjoyable. They did amazing! I have never had such a perfect performance and all I did backstage was open and close the curtains and turn lights on and off! The kids came on and off themselves, remembered lines and got into character really well! They slowed down, enunciated. The audience was vocal and outgoing in their feedback, which fed the actors and made them have so much fun! We did visualization exercises beforehand to help them calm down. Overall, just awesome!  Hyrum was Louis Pasteur and had a ton of lines.  Piper played many minor roles: young Louis Pasteur, Greta the bread girl, the two sheep that died.  Hava was the reverend.  Maia was Pasteur's daughter.  Xai was the sheep that lived. Right as we were finishing and getting off of the stage, Xai called out loudly from within his sheep costume, “And just so you know, I'm really a person!”  What a ham. 

That Saturday, we had a stake training planned and I just didn't see how I could get to it with having the play that night. True, all the scenery etc was on the stage already but still...wasn't it just too much. Besides, I had so many home projects that felt pressing. Well, I was super glad I went. I shared some deeply felt testimony and experiences. I was uplifted so much by the sharing by others. Lily came with me and I loved having a day with her! Piper watched Penelope (I paid her) and so it was just Lily and I. She also really enjoyed it and had a little break when I went to my leadership meeting, which was also fantastic. The visiting authority was so incredible...I could have listened to his words of spirituality and counsel all day. He was bold and sensitive at the same time, definitely following the Spirit and definitely heartfelt. I was blessed.

Lily, Hyrum and Maia went with Quinn to Medina this week so we are down a few people. It is amazing how few people eight people feels like when you are used to more! I told Piper and Hava to do their own thing and I would take care of the littles. We have also super cleaned the upstairs, main level and will be working on the downstairs today. Poor Hava. Piper and I love to clean!

I finished my book case for my bedroom!  I am super dooper excited.  Wood is crazy expensive so I used scraps from our other projects and five purchased pieces of shelving to make my 8 foot by 6 foot creation.  It will be for scrapbooks and family history stuff which I haven't had out for about 5 years now.  Soooooo excited!

Yesterday Piper and Havala took Xai, Eli and Liesl on an adventure...that apparently involved a lot of spiders. They also found a toad/frog that Eli loved and loved...until it died. And then he mourned. Poor dear.

Xai finally lost two of his four loose teeth that he has right now. Now the first one loose is still to go, but it is close too. He has that adorable “two missing front teeth” scenario, which I love so much! Last night, he prayed that he would be able to improve in how he spoke since he is having a hard time speaking with his front teeth out. I assured him that his speaking was just temporary and that I was completely enjoying it :D.

Piper came up to me yesterday, excitedly talking about how she was studying the scriptures. She is writing down all the various names of Christ. “Isn't it cool how each name refers so specifically to a role that He has in our lives? Ways that He is able to bless us?” Super cool! She is enjoying her new baby goat, Austin. Right now she is also caring for Gus, Maia's goat that she got to be a companion to Austin. We are still deciding if they are going to be meat goats come next spring. We think it might be fun to get new baby goats every spirng (they are super cute), use them to eat down the forage (we have an invasive wild rose that is taking over and goats love roses!) and then eat them the next year. We'll see. The girls are adjusting to that idea—Piper more readily than Maia, no surprise.

Drew has quit Wendy's for this month before he plans on going on his mission and is now full time working our property. He has enjoyed the first two days but it was pretty hard work. We'll see if the arrangement works for all of us :D. I have raised some pretty strong, independent children and so sometimes sharing the same roof as adults can get a little...tricky. It is nice to have someone work on things that I am not choosing to get to out of different time choices, so at least I am liking it for now :D.