December 6, 2022
Penelope got new shoes today and immediately tried them out.
She just hit me in the head with a book.
I guess she wants me to read it to her.
December 7, 2022
I am listening to Havala’s recording of “The Call” she recorded for Drew. It is so beautiful. Her voice is so beautiful.
Piper asked if there were meaningful things about her that other people might not know. The first thing I came up with is that she loves to snuggle with her little sister at night. I think it is hard because there are so many things people must know about her:
-her quest for truth in everything she sees around her, coupled with a determination to make sense of it
-the way she plays with her younger siblings
-her beautiful voice and tender touch with the piano
-her disciplined care for her body
-the way she gets feisty and focused on the sports field and her natural ability for sports
-her graceful and rhythmic dancing ability
-the way her eyes light up when she laughs
-her love of “I Love Lucy” and good, clean comedy in general
-the way her long slender fingers artistically shape her food creations
-her drive to get in and get done with jobs
-her willingness to try new things with determination
-her deep and tender love for her family, her God and her faith…and fierce loyalty to all of those.
-her honest exploration of truth
-the way her focus penetrates the book she is reading
-her pixie-like laugh that bubbles up from her toes
-her verve and sense of style
-her ability to be mindful of waste and frivolity–almost to a fault
-her passion for a good discussion (and courage in taking on older siblings to do so
-her quirky, fascinating art
-the way she loved and cared for her squirrel and other pets; I’m reminded of when she walks around with a cat on her shoulder
One other thing I thought people might not already know is that when she was younger, she insisted on doing other people’s jobs. In fact, she would sneakily try to do their dinner helps ahead of time…generally her older siblings. I am not sure what prompted her to do this, but this one act completely shifted the dynamics of our household clean-up from a determination to do the easiest job possible to trying to get the hardest job possible. It truly shifted the mood of the kids when it came to work. I think I want to do this for all of my kiddos. This is fun!
Yesterday Xai and Eli spent most of the day swinging on vines in the gully across from the house. Piper and Maia had found it yesterday. I am thinking that when the vine is gone, we’ve totally got to put a rope swing over there. They were out there pretty much from dawn to dusk, coming in for meals and enforced quiet time for the shortest time possible before going out again. Liesl and Penelope joined them for a long time, and all came in plastered with mud and smiles..well, except for the time Penelope came in after falling…but she was quick to point to the door and say, “‘side!” as soon as she calmed down.
Yesterday we also finally put away the props, etc. from the last play, a super hard job and one I normally don’t enjoy that much, particularly because I generally run up against conflict from the troops. Piper and Hyrum have learned to just be supportive and happy, which I so appreciate. Havala and Maia took turns grumbling but we got it done. We also reviewed dance steps for our choir concert next week. I’m excited! I think Hyrum might start a dance class for youth here before his mission. I think that will be a great opportunity for him! I also need to get him registered for a GED test today so we can get him applied to colleges. Yikes! I also need to call to see if Piper’s driving class with AAA is on the radar.
So many good things, so little time. NO! I have the perfect amount of time. I just need to choose wisely ;).
Today we want to watch the uploaded videos of our previous performances. I’m excited! We also have choir, which I am stoked about, although many of us have been getting sick, sad to say, so we’ll see who shows up!
Last night, I had a sweet night with the kiddos. They showered after being muddy, grabbed some dinner and then watched “Tiny Christmas”...kind of a “Honey I Shrunk The Kids!” kind of Christmas movie. They paused to sample some of the AMAZING homemade ice cream we made. Super easy recipe! Just whip up 2 cups of heavy whipping cream into stiff peaks (not butter, lol!), take a spoonful of the whipped cream and mix it with a can of sweetened condensed milk and then gently fold in the sweetened condensed mixture back into the whipped cream and voila! Freeze and you have ice cream! We did one batch, put on a layer of crushed oreos, put it into the freezer, did another batch and then put on another batch of crushed oreos and then gently did swirling motions with a butter knife to loosely distribute it.
And it’s AMAZING. Quinn and I had Ben and Jerry’s the other day and commented upon how it just wasn’t as creamy as it used to be. But this stuff?? Welcome back, heaven. And wow did we load it with oreos!! Super ‘e-lish.
Anyway, the kiddos sampled a little bit of heaven, watched the rest of the movie, brushed their teeth and then we read books and snuggled for a while…along with a healthy dose of a couple of scripture stories, song and prayer for good measure. It was a sweet night.
My parents came over for games after that. Xai read to Penelope on the couch for a while and then, after he went to bed, she moved her stacks of books over to the table. It was like a Jenga stack, with small board books interspersed with wide flimsy ones. Her sense of balance is truly remarkable. She sat in my lap as I played games and flipped through one book after another, always keeping them right-side up until she gets to that part in Dr. Suess “I can read with my eyes shut tight” where it talks about reading upside down and the picture gets a little upside down. She turns the book so the picture is right-side up, lol. She’s a cutie! I read off and on, but sometimes she will read books to herself. Dum Ditty Dum Dum is one of my favorites for her to read. The kids have taught her to drum on her tummy for those….so funny! She also loves “Peek-a-Boo” the Halloween style book and says it pretty well, “Peek-a-...some nonsense word.” She still doesn’t talk much, for which I am grateful. Her little babbling voice is adorable. I need to capture it before it goes away. It’s kind of funny: in Hungary, they are worried about Akos not speaking soon enough and here I am hoping that Penelope doesn’t learn too soon, lol.
I have kind of maxxed out my journal attention span. I enjoyed pics from Drew and Lily’s missions this week. Dad read a little of “A Man Called Ove” to me…hilariously awesome book that we are editing for language as we go so the kiddos can enjoy it more easily. Oh! We got a new piano from Oma and Opa for Christmas…well, new to us. Apparently, pianos are really cheap to get right now and this one is practically new and a very good brand. It is beautiful! I haven’t played it yet, but look forward to doing it later this morning, after I fold laundry while listening to the Book of Mormon (in the visit of Christ now–I am in tears almost every time just pictures my Savior and His tender ministry!), exercise (dance or jogging, hmmmm….) and the kiddos want me to wake them up early today. Yikes! Eli actually volunteered to help me fold laundry! He is such a sweetie at night! A little of a bear in the morning, but soooooo squishy and melty-chocolate-eyes yummy at night!
Well, I think I’m going to jet! Deep breath. Enjoy.
Oh, I think there is one more thing I need to record. Last Saturday was a challenging mental health day and i crashed a little. My therapist helped talk me through it. Sunday, while I partaking of the sacrament, I did my almost weekly internal deep communion with my Heavenly Father and Savior. This week, as I wracked my brain to ask for forgiveness of sins, I felt God tell me that I need to be gentler with myself….that I would never intentionally hurt anyone. I tend to be a little brutal in my inner regulation, like beating my core self to an unrecognizable pulp kind of “regulation.” Lately, I have felt that my Heavenly Father wants to help me recognize the beauty and good that is me, which even now makes me feel upset and agitated to think about. But on Sunday, I distinctly felt Him say, “Mary, I want you to stop your internal self-regulation (and degradation). Let Me tell you how you are doing and if you need to change.”
A friend, Margot Baker, caught me right after Sacrament Meeting as I was cleaning up our bench (it doesn’t clean itself…I tried that out one week and the mess was still there an hour later). Somehow, I found myself sharing that with her and she added, “And you need to believe what He tells you.” I remember now, her son–who is in prison right now–responded to his dad’s question, “Do you know that your Savior has forgiven you?” in the affirmative. But then his dad asked, “Have you forgiven yourself?” to which there was silence. Even now I am overcome with emotion. I am really trying to nip the negative thoughts in the bud and just allow for peace and space in my soul. It has been truly wonderful for the most part, but old habits–especially mental ones–die hard so I find myself, again, picturing that clip from the Chosen I referenced a few days ago in my journal often…trying to let the Savior in to heal me.
It is getting easier, most days.
I am blessed with abundance. 😀
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